it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize