Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
