I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
