Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
