I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
