there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize