Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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