1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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