Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
