Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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