You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
