It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
