Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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