Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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