I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
