I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
