I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
