Your dad touched me again.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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