I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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