He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
