when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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