if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
