You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
