Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
pray to the hookup gods
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize