Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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