The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
