i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think people are normalizing furries
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize