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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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• (760): View more from California

  i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.

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• (+34): View more from Spain

  30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club

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