i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
