You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
