he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
