the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
