Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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