I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
