How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
