Pappa wants mamma naked
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
