how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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