I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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