just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
