from now on my penis is your penis
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
