I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
