I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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