Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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