I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My ass is underappreciated
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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