so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
