I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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