you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
