I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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