Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
