Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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