im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
