If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
