Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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