Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
