we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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