Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
