Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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