Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
