How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
