im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
