Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
