No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
